Yes I am terrible at it so I’m going to keep doing it.

I remember when I wasn’t very good at hula hooping. I could not even keep the hoop around my waist. I was at my friend’s house in Austin, TX and we had just danced all weekend long. Friday. Saturday. Sunday. It was Sunday afternoon and she effortlessly showed me how to rock and forth to keep the hoop up. Frustrated with myself I just watched. Tried again. After HOURS, I eventually got the movement down. Hours. What kept me going is how I would try one angle, switch my feet up, maybe a different would work better. Trying something else out.

I am currently creating Excel templates at my day job and someone was watching me over my shoulder said, “I never learned how to use Excel like this in college.” I was just thinking that neither had I. I was an office manager for my mom’s company when I was 18 years old and she would just tell me that she wanted something and by the end of the day I would need to have it. No instructions at all! I just kept doing what I could then would do an internet search to learn more. Now I’m an advanced Excel user, I am very quick to get hired as a contractor because of my skill.

I used to not be a very good blogger. I started over a decade ago on LiveJournal and I got annoyed how people I knew would use it as a tool to attack me (don’t worry I was bad but still, don’t blast folks on the internet) and this was back when I was 18 so I would get my feelings hurt. I was so shocked anyone could be so rude. Well I’m not going to let anything anyone does make me quite. So I kept posting. Then of course people can be rude on message boards. Well as time went on I just got tough and now I don’t care about other’s opinions. I can tell them what I know and what is going on but it is their choice to pick it up. I waste time getting upset or trying to change someone’s mind. Being online with others with disagreed with me got easier. It is easy. Look, I can be friends with conservative Republicans. I got this!

Even when I started this format of this website as a blog, I didn’t know what I was doing. I just knew people in the states didn’t have much about psytrance and that was my thing so I just started interviewing my friends, then picking up American producers then started spotlighting international producers. I was just asking questions and it is a lot of work to do research and to follow up and then to promote the post. I’m not sure if I’ll ever fully stop doing that because it is fun – just very time consuming. However, now I’m learning how to write with a personal voice and it’s still new to me. I know I’m not amazing at it, but it will get easier.

Now just to put some polish on it. I know I’m terrible at posting about myself so I’m going to keep doing it. I know I’ll get better.